So the other day I went to a Father/Son breakfast with my oldest Grandson (GC-1), Christopher, at his school (he's in 3rd grade). It was mostly a cute little event, with a continental breakfast, songs sung, poems read, certificates handed out, an appeal from the principal for fathers to volunteer in the upcoming school year. It was all very sweet, except...
There was a portion of the event near the end where students, fathers, and staff members were invited to come forward and say a few words about what their fathers (or in the case of the fathers, what either their fathers and/or their children) meant to them. The format was for the speaker to say, "My father is special because ____". All of the students and fathers who got up to speak expressed very nice, thoughtful sentiments about their dads and/or kids -how nice or smart or strong or funny or loving or hard working they were - but then the principal called on the some of the staff members present (most of the teachers were still in the classrooms with students who didn't have a father/grandfather/father figure show up, so these were mainly aides, administrative staff, counselors, parent volunteers, etc.). All of these staff personnel were women, and I swear, every single one of them - including someone with a title of "Doctor"- spoke not a word of any actual values their fathers instilled upon them, or any strength of character their fathers possessed, but strictly of the material things their fathers spoiled them with:
"My father is special because he gives me everything I want!" (This from two different women)
"My father is special because he always pays to fix my car!"
"My father is special because he bought me a new car when I needed one!"
"My father is special because even though I'm grown and have children, he still buys me nice things. He even bought me a present for Children's Day at church last Sunday!" (This from the Doctor)
Finally, with - I think - some exasperation, the Principal chimed in with her expression of how her father was a God-fearing man who taught his children the values of faith, hard work and getting an education, and then cut the testimonials at that point, lest some other spoiled Daddy's Girl got up to brag about what her Daddy bought her.
I don't know, maybe I over reacted, but that whole scene bugged the heck out of me. It was like these ladies' fathers meant little more to them than somebody who gave them shit..Maybe there more to their feelings about their dads than that, but if there were, they sure didn't express it. I'd like to think I taught my own daughters better than that; then again, I've got one that's been living with me rent free for almost four years with no apparent motivation to move towards independence, so maybe not...
